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Let's Learn About the Internet!
by Franklin Corregidor, the Tightrope Walker
If you can read this, chances are you're on the internet. Chances are also that you did not attend public school. In a recent poll of prepubescent waterfowl, 96 per cent of mallards overwhelmingly agree that they cannot go a single day without checking the internet to see what the delivery status of their yellow goulashes are.
But what is this internet? Why do ducks think so fondly of it and leave the rest of us in the dark? Do we not need goulashes as well? And what about ghoulashes? Ghouls get wet feet too you know. Did you ever try haunting a house in Seattle before? Not only do they get wet feet, but they also have to worry about rusty chains and their sheets getting stained, especially when they sit down after a hard day of scaring Generation Y and Z slackers wishing they could have been alive fifteen years ago when nobody in the outside world knew about Grunge Music. Do they use the internet or "World Wide Web" as it has become to be known for all of their dryness needs?
Let me tell you something about this here internet from a personal perspective. I've found that since signing on to the internet, my feet have been much drier than before. When I put my yellow goulashes over my wingtip shoes, I think to myself "Gosh, my feet are as dry as a duck's!" Thank you, the internet!
So in conclusion, ducks are also known as waterfowl, and mallards are a type of duck. Chinese people like to serve them as food with "Duck Sauce," but only if you call a day in advance. If you don't call a day in advance, you probably aren't up on your internet skills either and have very wet feet.
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Franklin Corregidor is an aspiring New York based writer whose feet are always dry and toasty. He does not have a website, nor does he have an online "blog." He does not recall how he found out about submitting to this website, especially because it does not have any links to buy yellow goulashes. You can contact Franklin at FranklinCorregidor[a]hotmail.com.
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