Now Sammy, your local deli-owner, as as nice as deli-owners could be. Once you tried to do the math between the amount of food he actually sold and the amount of free jerky he was always handing out and the way you figured it he lost at least $30 a day.

“Ah, I see you’ve got the Gladiator!,” Sammy motioned towards the wooden stick in your hand. “I assume that must mean you’re traveling to Washington D.C. Beautiful city. Union station have fantastic architecture and there’s a great jerky vender in their food court downstairs. When you get there say hi to Trisha. She works behind the counter on Mondays and Fridays and damn if that woman doesn’t know her dried meat products. Now, I must insist you take this complementary jerky with you. It’s a long walk to D.C. from here. Go on, don’t be scared of the packaging. It’s rabbit-flavored.”

Staring at the white fuzzy blob in his hand your stomach audibly cries out in fear...but you don’t want to insult Sammy by not taking it...