You take the jerky from Sammy’s hand, trying not to think about how insanely soft and realistic the “fake” fur and how just being within a foot of your nose it is unmistakably rabbit-scented.

The packaging itself was bizarre, jerky in the shape of two big bunny ears. It’s almost hypnotizing to look at and pet. You leave the deli with an over the shoulder thank you to Sammy and starring at your jerky you start to walk out of the door.

“HALT!” comes a voice from below.

You look down, but it’s too late. A distinct *CRUSH* noise as your foot hits the ground with your step.

40 Armymen are at your feet, or perhaps more accurately 39 Armymen were at your feet and 1 Armyman was under them...

What do you do?