You pull on your most comfortable walking shoes and go to your walking stick closet. After careful consideration you choose the “GLADIATOR” which you had purchased at that awesome walking stick convention in San Antonio a few summers back. According to the guy at the booth it was perfect for ventures to D.C. as well as wonderful for pole vaulting...now would be a good chance to try it out.

Proud of how cool you must look with your solid pine cane you climb the stairs and open the gate and stop. The sidewalk goes two ways and you’re pretty sure D.C. is only one of those directions.

You look towards the right and see your friendly neighborhood deli-owner giving you a wave from his shop. You look towards the left and see sidewalk as far as the eye can see until it doesn’t seen any further because you can’t due to a tree, which really is only a foot away from your face….so I guess you only see a tree literally a foot away from your face. Um…let’s try this again…