“Chapter 1 page 1...my what high quality paper this Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book  is printed on” just as you start to caress your monitor a poorly recreated digital version of the Monkees theme song begins to blare through your one bedroom apartment.

“Funny,” you think out loud, since that’s what most people do in these stories, “my phone is set to play Debussy...”

You follow the sound around your apartment and finally locate a black blueberry, or a blue blackberry, or a orange banana whatever the hell kind of electronic fruit name that’s so expensive I’ve purposely never learned it.

This is NOT your phone.

You look at the face of it and see that the call is coming in as “unavailable.” It’s rude to pick up a stranger’s phone so you sigh a breath of relief when the theme song finishes its second, lesser known, verse.

“Strange, I don’t let people in my apartment. I wonder who’s phone this could be.”

Just as you are about to flush it down the toilet, you know to avoid that awkwardness of having to talk with your neighbors, digital Davy Jones attacks you once more.

What do you do?