In a fit of defiance you shove the knife into the magical mayo jar and slab magical fat all over your bread halves, eyeing the Professor as you do so. You’re sick of dealing with your annoying neighbors always butting into things they don’t belong in! It’ll be nice to have it all over in one giant

*BOOM!*

You open your eyes, half expecting to see the fiery depths of hell, and half expecting to see a whole bunch of carebears floating on white fluffy clouds, which is one of the deeper rings of hell....but that’s not what you see at all.

A large dirty antique bathtub is now in the middle of your living room, with a large dirty antique man sitting naked inside of it!

“Oh, scuz me,” the man gets up, wrapping his long moustache over his unmentionable bits and walks out of your apartment. You stare at the tub in disbelief and at the carefully painted words along the side “TIME MACHINE, PLEASE WAIT AT LEAST A HALF HOUR AFTER EATING BEFORE USE.”

A time machine! A friggin’ time machine!