Hmmm...perhaps Sigourney Weaver. OOOOoooh or better yet Michael J. Fox! I wonder who’s going to direct it. I mean it’s quite a compelling story: A Person Mysteriously Drowns in Their Own Brooklyn Apartment...I wonder if Celine Dion would be up for writing the theme song.

Just as the water touches your chin and you KNOW you are going to wind up famous. You hear a voice. A very, VERY distinct voice from across your apartment.

“I’LL SAVE YOU NEIGHBOR PERSON!”

“Nooooo!”

Twenty seconds from stardom and Furboa the stupid Jerboa has destroyed your dream, as well as your north side wall with a baseball bat.

The water flies out of your apartment funneling you into your living room. As the water levels return to normal you are plopped face down on your shag couch dripping wet, still non-famous, and forced to listen to the cries of your OTHER next door neighbor screaming for dear life as their apartment suddenly gets flooded from the hole Furboa made from yours.

“Yay! I’m a hero!” Furboa does his dance of joy (which should not be confused with the “Dance of Joy” from the hit TV series as his is COMPLETELY different...or at least exactly the same but he plays both the Larry and Balki parts).

The screams from the apartment next door are dying down. Crap. Does this mean you’re going to have to god on a murder trial AGAIN. Stupid jerboa...

What do you do now?