FINE! If that’s the way you’re going to be.
Take this!
“So then the reader got eaten by like twelve dragons but not until after he got turned into a warthog by a witch and got his warthog legs torn off by killer alien and/or robot creatures all while having awful 70’s hair SO BAD that it’s probably better they got killed off because they would have NEVER gotten a girlfriend/boyfriend! Oh, yeah and the Narrator got to eat an AMAZING sandwich!”
THE END (jerk!)
.